Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize