i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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