You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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