sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
