dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
