It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
