Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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