and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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