we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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