my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
