and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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