there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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