I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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