You can't special order awesome
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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