So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
