if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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