We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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