Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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