How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
