You really coming over, don't trick.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
