i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
