Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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