i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
