3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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