Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
