I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
