You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
