im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
