all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
