then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
