I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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