I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
