do herpes really smell.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
