quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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