She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
