my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
