At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like eating out sand paper
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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