so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
