ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
