No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
