is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
