just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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