Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
