The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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