dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
