Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
