um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
