my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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