i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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