look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize