so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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