Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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