Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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