Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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