Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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