Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize