CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
