is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
