I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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